


Skate or Die

by smolonde



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (kinda), Chili's, Exhibitionism, F/F, Heelies, I love you vrisky, Smut, Useless Lesbians, terezi loves neon colors, vriska is uncool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-08 14:52:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11083905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolonde/pseuds/smolonde
Summary: Vriska, a self-proclaimed super cool girl who has never had a girlfriend before, tries to go to the skate park to pick up girls. She kind of fails, but meets someone who intrigues her.





	1. Chapter 1

Your name is Vriska Serket and you’re a messy lesbian.

Of course, you’re super cool and pretty and intelligent and all around great, but none of that has gotten you a girlfriend. You can’t imagine why no one has responded to your flirtations, but none of that matters because today, you’re going to get a girlfriend by hitting up your local skate park.

You’ve borrowed a helmet from your neighbor (by that you mean you snatched it from his garage and told yourself you’ll return it later), and you’re wearing Converse and a flannel shirt. The combination of your board, your gay attire, and your unwashed hair should reel in the ladies from every corner of the park. You are, in a word, irresistible.

You sit on a bench and watch a few skater girls do their thing. One girl has two long braids and is grinding pretty hard on the rails, whooping loudly as she grabs the bottom of her board and ollies sideways into a 50-50. Another girl drops in on the halfpipe and leans forward, sticking a perfect landing as she pumps her fists in the air…. Yeah, you’re a giant lesbian and skater girls are hot. You get up, intending to talk to the braids girl before you chicken out, but you’re distracted by a loud cackle to your left. You turn and look at the source, and you’re more than a little confused.

The girl behind you has fire-engine red hair and red-tinted glasses, a combination that clashes horribly and makes your eyes sting. She’s wearing the loudest, ugliest windbreaker you’ve ever seen, a neon purple jacket with bright turquoise lines crisscrossing it, and her bright yellow shorts look like a small child went at them with a highlighter. Her sneakers are hot pink and thick-soled, and when she sticks out her tongue, you notice that there’s a ball piercing right in the middle of it. Overall, you’re confused, but the super gay part of your brain lights up at that tongue stud.

She keeps cackling like some kind of witch from a horror movie, and you try to ignore it until she lets out a particularly loud laugh. You turn around and loudly say, “Hey, what the fuck is your problem?”

She grins widely at you and you swear that literally all of her teeth are showing. “I’m just imagining what this pool would look like if it was filled with blood…... hehehe….”

Your eyebrows raise. “Wow, okay, edgelord. Shouldn’t you have a board if you’re gonna be at a skate park?”

The girl’s lips, frozen permanently in that shit-eating grin, say, “Who needs wheels……… If you have heels?”

Before you can question her, she kicks her leg up and you can see the wheels on the bottom of her shoes. The soles of her shoes start flashing rainbow colors as she kicks off the rim of the mini ramp and slowly skates down it. She stands on one leg, balancing herself and wobbling down a stretch of concrete, and when she comes back, she skates shakily up the ramp. She crouches down, raising her arm in the sickest dab you have ever seen. Your jaw drops at the blatant display of Heelie™ talent in front of you, and you swear this girl’s gotten ten times hotter.

She stops in front of you, still wearing that same fucking grin, and says “What do you think?”

Your mind goes blank and you grab your skateboard. “Uh, watch this!”

You grab the skateboard in a blaze of glory and plummet down to the pool. You fall about seven feet before you remember one little fact: you’ve never skated before in your life.

You turn your head around, alarm visible on your face, and the girl starts to cackle. She’s still cackling when you hit the ground, and you throw out your arms to catch the fall, and you hear your bones break before you feel the sharp pain like knives stabbing from your wrists. You scream, and somehow there’s wet snot on your face, and blood from where your arms hit, and there’s water on you, which you dimly register as your tears. You look up pitifully at the girl, outlined by the sun, and you smile with all your teeth, then turn around and vomit all over the concrete.

Your name is Vriska Serket, and the last thing you want twenty minutes later is this batshit crazy, oddly cute, _still-smiling_ girl getting in the ambulance with you as it drives to the hospital.


	2. Chapter 2

 Both your wrists are broken, thanks to the idiotic stunt that you performed at the skate park. The girl responsible for the break, who you learn is named Terezi Pyrope, decided that she was going to stay with you the entire time the doctors were taking care of you. You’re just a tad irritated at the fact that she saw you cry not once, but three times: once at the park, and again for both of your wrists. It wouldn’t be the first time that a hot girl saw you cry, but what makes it ten times worse is that she’s smirking throughout the entire thing. It’s almost as if she’s noticed that you tried to impress her, even though you totally weren’t being obvious about it.

You text your neighbor, telling him that his skateboard is fine. He responds with _Of course, why wouldn’t it be?_ and you remember that he doesn’t know you borrowed it. You briefly explain the situation to him, and put down your phone as he calls you continuously. You let the call go to voicemail every time, and the messages he leaves are likely filled with expletives, but you delete all of them and just text him _Chill ::::)._ He sends you a whole stream of curse words, mostly including the words ‘fuck’ and ‘worm-eating shitface’. You smile and set your phone down, noticing that Terezi has been watching you the entire time.

“Are you texting your boyfriend?” she snarks, grinning with all her teeth.

“Bitch. I’m a lesbian.”

“Yeah, I totally called that, I just wanted to make sure that you weren’t seeing anyone.”

You do a double take. The fuck did she just say?

“Because I know I’m not!” She takes off her glasses to reveal a milky skein over her eyes. You stammer for a moment, until she cuts you off. “It’s a joke! I’m blind. You’re supposed to laugh. But seriously, I’m not seeing anyone at the moment and was wondering if you wanted to go on a date.”

What. The. Fuck. You’ve known this girl for an hour and she’s already coming on to you? Damn, you’re good.

“Y- you’re pretty forward, Pyrope.” You’re blushing like an imbecile, and you thank the universe that your skin is too dark to tell. She does seem to pick up on the embarrassment in your voice, and gives you that shit-eating grin again.

“Only around hot girls who think they’re the shit.”

“Excuse me? I AM the shit, Pyrope. I’m the hottest, freshest shit you’ll ever have the pleasure of taking.” Wow, you certainly could have phrased that better. “In fact, I’m such hot shit that I’m going to take you out to dinner. At a nice restaurant. Because fuck you.” You take a long drink of your water, making eye contact the entire time. _Boom, bitches._

Terezi shrugs. “That’s what I’m hoping for.” You choke on your water, coughing and sputtering so much that the nurse rushes back into the room. She brings you a paper towel and helps you clean up the mess on your tray, and you stare daggers at Terezi the entire time. She smirks at you (you’re starting to think that she only has one expression) and gets up to leave.

“I put my number in your phone while you were crying in pain. If you want to text me, that’s cool. I’m free every night after 6. I like long walks on the beach and burritos. Oh, and also double-ended dildos. Just FYI.” She closes the door loudly.

You’re so fucked.

 

You’ve given Karkat back his skateboard, even though he’s furious about the fact that you stole it in the first place. You don’t know what he’s so angry about. There isn’t even a dent on the damn thing.

Your phone sits open on the coffee table, with about seven drafts of texts you’ve wanted to send Terezi.

_Hi, this is Vriska from the skate park. You know, the one who broke her wrists?_

_Hey, this is me. I’m the really hot one from the park._

_7 pm at the boardwalk. Don’t be late._

_So are you up for fucking or for a relationship?_

_You suck._

_Roses are red, violets are blue, you can’t see either one, ‘cause you’re fucking blind._

_Uh hey sup._

You facepalm. This is absolutely not your A-game. So you decide to not be a chicken, and a few minutes later you’re sending Terezi a picture of your ass.

She texts back instantly. _Wow you’re bony._

You feel your face getting warm. _So do you want to get dinner tonight?_

_With an ass like that how can I refuse?_

_Shut your fucking mouth. Are you coming or not?_

_Hopefully both of us will be coming tonight._

You sigh, putting your phone down. Then you take a deep breath, and start planning tonight’s date.

 

You pull into the Chili’s parking lot, ready to take Terezi on the best date of her life. You’re not surprised to find her already sitting in a booth, munching on some chili fries. She gives you a grease-covered smile when you slide in next to her. You notice that she’s eating her fries with a fork, and while you don’t know what kind of heathen would do that, you decide not to comment on it. The waitress comes to take your order, and you order two loaded boneless wings. Once she’s gone, you decide to make conversation.

“So, what do you do for a living?”

She starts to smile slyly, and you’re not sure why. “I’m a paralegal downtown. What about you?”

“I’m a manager at Denny’s. I can score you some free pancakes if you w- “

And you finally realize why she’s eating her fries with a fork: it’s because her hand is now unbuttoning your pants. “Holy shit.”

She continues to smirk, unzipping your fly. “Not too fast for you?”

Your mouth drops open, unable to form a response besides “Nah.”

You think you can see all her teeth. “Glad to hear it.”

Oh dear lord, she is pushing aside your underwear. Holy shit. Suddenly, she picks up her fork and purposefully drops it under the table. “Oh no. It seems as if I have dropped my fork. Silly me. Let me go retrieve it. I’m not disappearing under the table to eat out Vriska. Nope.”

“Could you say that any louder?” you ask as she vanishes. Your heart is racing, and Terezi doesn’t do you any favors as she yanks your jorts down past your thighs. The waitress walks by, and you sit perfectly still even though Terezi is now shoving her entire face into your fucking cooch. It also doesn’t help that she is _talking_. While going down on you. Under the table.

_“Hey, Vriska?”_ her muffled voice comes out from under the cloth.

You grit your teeth and talk out the side of your mouth. “What _?”_

_“You taste like sour cream onion chips.”_

_“I know. Thanks.”_

_“And I feel God in this Chili’s tonight.”_ You groan out loud at the meme, which quickly turns into a moan as she does some weird shit with her tongue. You’re _so_ lucky you went before the dinner rush, because you’re pretty sure the entire serving staff can hear both of you.

It takes ten minutes before you finish, your hand tangled in her hair, and when you do, you lean forward, accidentally slamming your head into the table. “OW! FUCK!”

Terezi comes back up, daintily wiping her mouth with a napkin. “That good, huh?”

“No, dumbass, I hit my fucking head.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

You pout, mumbling “The rest of it was really good though.”

She smirks. “You owe me, then.”

You smile. “Not while we’re still in Chili’s.”

 

You end up returning the favor behind the Dumpster when you’ve finished your meal.

**Author's Note:**

> This is for my friend Vrisky, and title credit goes to my girlfriend!


End file.
